Okay, now I know I'm feeling better. Because I'm getting bored. So I need something to do. This time I am going to do something constructive and finish my nursing degree. 5 whole classes and I am done!! Then I am going to quit my crappy job and do something I really enjoy.
Things at home are getting better. I have good days and bad days. But lately I've been having more good days than bad. Progress is slow and frustrating sometimes. I'm still moody but not as aggressive.
So some of my new obsessions lately: makeup artists (I have no clue why), body cleansing (liver and stuff), and school. The makeup artist thing has been really interesting. I like being a girly girl and I've picked up some nifty tricks being a lurker on the artist forums. Such as what drugstore products professionals use to get those fantastic looks. Apparently any foundation with SPF in it is a bad choice for pictures! Now I know why I always look so ghostlike in photos, lol.
Body cleansing is because I think part of my emotional issues lately have been hormonal. I think I have been taking too much Flax oil, which is an estrogen suppressor by the way. My hair has started falling out badly (!!!!!) and, of course, the PMS that lasts forever. So I want to do a cleanse to straighten out my hormones and metabolism. BEFORE you do any research into it, be warned: there are some straight up disgusting pictures out there! Now I feel all nasty inside and can't wait to get started cleansing up/out.
School is pretty self-explanitory. I hate my current job (high school much??!!) and really want to finish my degree. I want to be an ER nurse when I grow up. Financially it is feasable. RN's make almost the same as I make now with only three shifts per week instead of 5 days. Hmmmm, more family time, less work, more enjoyable working conditions: sounds like a winner, lol :)
So, I am finding out that I don't have a "sacrifice for the sake of" mentality. I am a selfish person. I don't like giving up stuff I want to make other people happy. I can't help it, that's just me. It is also why I have been so jacked up lately. I've been sacrificing everything for my home and family and it completely goes against my nature. It's like I have had this backlog of kharma from suppressing my natural tendencies. Now that I am behaving like ME again (read: selfish self-centered primadonna lol) things are getting better if that makes any sense.
Don't get me wrong, I loooovvvve my husband and daughter. I would do anything for either of them. If necessary. However, I don't have to do EVERYTHING for them and nothing for me. Apparently it makes me a crazy beeeoootch.
And makes me do stupid stuff like go buy 5 shades of lipliner because the makeup artist webforum said no one's kit is complete without all of them.
I don't even wear lipliner!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment